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Farewell to Trump’s Baby Sociopaths

Today we say goodbye and good riddance to Donald J. Trump, the worst, laziest, and most tangerine-hued of our 45 presidents. He left a path of destruction in his wake that included 400,000 dead Americans, a decimated economy, shattered norms, broken laws, and endless grifting. And if his venality, corruption, and incompetence weren’t enough, he…

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Farewell to Trump’s Baby Sociopaths

Today we say goodbye and good riddance to Donald J. Trump, the worst, laziest, and most tangerine-hued of our 45 presidents. He left a path of destruction in his wake that included 400,000 dead Americans, a decimated economy, shattered norms, broken laws, and endless grifting. And if his venality, corruption, and incompetence weren’t enough, he punctuated his tenure in the highest (and before now, most respected) office by inciting an attempt to overthrow the same institutions that empowered him—the act of a malignant and sociopathic narcissist who is also, to use a diagnosis not technically listed in the DSM, a giant baby. 

But we also must bid farewell to the Trump children: the ambulatory evidence that narcissism, incompetence, and corruption are genetically inherited traits. Like their decency-challenged paterfamilias, they hardly bothered to veil their contempt for democratic norms, and used every available opportunity to exploit their positionsand by extension, taxpayersto make money and accumulate unearned power. They deserve their own send-off, especially considering the persistent rumors that they have political ambitions of their own and that some form of recidivism seems inevitable. Each one is unique and memorable, much in the same way that every individual experience of food poisoning is similarly horrible and yet surprisingly varied in its repulsiveness. 

A personal favorite among the things that won’t be missed: Donald Trump Jr.’s redneck cosplay. As a rural Alabama native who grew up in a family full of hunters, it’s sometimes entertaining to watch Junior—a New York City–native, Ivy-educated, Buckley School grad who probably spent many high school weekends doing coke in the bathroom of Dorrians—suit up like a Duck Dynasty extra and awkwardly pantomime those things that he thinks red-state Trumpists do (bless his heart). Only the unfettered racism comes naturally to him. It’s unnerving to watch him wave around such a vast assortment of absurdly souped-up guns, each one more accessorized with far-right stickers and gratuitous vanity mods than the last. As a rule, you never want a guy with unresolved anger issues to have easy access to high-powered firearms, let alone a collection that he probably has to transport with a forklift. 

You also generally don’t want anyone operating a firearm while they’re under the influence of … well, anything: recreational drugs, prescription drugs, Donald Trump. Junior’s public appearances have been concerning on that front. His Visine budget alone could probably fund two fiscal years of Meals on Wheels. His TV appearances have always been directed at an audience of one, and I won’t miss watching a 43-year-old man tell his father he’s desperate for love in a coded language that appears to consist entirely of conspiracy theories. 

On this front, Eric Trump seems a little more put together, or at the very least, I’ve never seen him look like he was on the verge of bursting into tears, which is a semi-regular feature of Junior’s appearances. Neither of them was supposed to be involved in their dad’s campaign, but the entire Trump family interprets “conflict of interest” as an ethical conflict that may be “of interest” in the participatory sense. Eric’s contributions to the Trump legacy mostly include guaranteeing his wife a $180,000 salary via marriage and funneling money from a kid’s cancer charity into his businessand admittedly, stealing money from children with cancer is so cartoonishly villainous it wouldn’t be plausible in a Marvel movie. My most controversial Trump-related opinion is that Eric is not actually The Dumbest One, but the competition is so heavy for the title that it’s sometimes hard to tell. 

Which brings us to Ivanka, who once got into an argument at a dinner party about the difference between liberal and libertarian, which she maintained were the same thing, and when the person she was arguing with suggested she Google it, she replied that she’d “take it under advisement.” Now she is in the position of having to take her own “advisement” and “find something new,” as she recently counseled millions of newly unemployed Americans (presumably because “Let them eat coding” was too awkward a construction).

Career coaches typically suggest that people who lose their jobs should highlight their primary skill sets when they apply for something new. Judging from her White House track record, Ivanka’s skills are: staging her own photo ops, developing a mastery of public self-congratulation, misattributing inspirational quotes to Alexis de Tocqueville, and pulling the rug out from under women as a class with Olympic-level vigor. 

I’ve historically maintained that she is the Edmund Hillary of social climbing, but have come to realize that my analogy is off: Hillary had to do the work himself and couldn’t just take credit for it. As someone who’s adept at taking credit for things she didn’t do, Ivanka’s equally accomplished at avoiding responsibility for the disastrous things she did or enabled. A high school friend of hers recalls in Vanity Fair that she once farted in class and blamed it on a classmatean apt, if pungent, metaphor for what she continued to do as she transformed herself magically from “Senior White House Adviser” to “just a daughter” every time the administration did something catastrophic and morally repulsive.  

Rumors suggest that she plans to run for office one day herself, demonstrating that delusions of grandeur may be inheritable, as well. But she won’t do it from her native New York Citywhere she and her brothers have worn out their welcomebecause as someone once said, “It’s not excusable to embrace right-wing extremists just because you weren’t embraced enough by Dad, or were, perhaps, inappropriately embraced by Dad.” (De Tocqueville, I think.) 

So Ivanka will soon be a Florida Woman, and will presumably adopt the in-state tradition of insisting that parts of Florida are “not really Southern” and that other parts are “lower Alabama,” but in a breathy voice that’s inexplicably two octaves lower than it should be. Her on-camera appearances will continue to have a certain hostage video quality, and the expert hair and makeup will not compensate for the unsettling uncanny valley effect she exudes when she tries to speak with authentic human emotion. 

She won’t be alone. Jared Kushner is not literally a Trump child, but he might as well be. He is as qualified as Ivanka to be a senior White House adviser, benefitted from the same nepotism, and has many of the traits most pronounced in the Trump children: an inflated sense of entitlement; a belief that his wealth is simultaneously a product of meritocracy and dynastic fate; and a visceral allergy to any kind of knowledge acquisition that involves listening to experts, talking to anyone with a lower net worth, or reading anything longer than the first paragraph of this column that doesn’t contain his literal name. 

I have some personal experience here: In 2011 and 2012, I was the editor in chief of The New York Observer, a newspaper he bought and proceeded to destroy with disastrous shortcuts framed as “optimization” and a seeming determination to interpret “move fast and break things” as an end goal and not a path to success. He occupies a special place in my heart: Specifically the part responsible for the ventricular contraction that sends my blood pressure to stratospheric heights any time I hear that he’s been put in charge of something important. The only comfort I get from the fact that Donald Trump had custody of the nuclear football for the last few years is that he wasn’t able to outsource that function to Jared, who might have just casually given it to Mohammad bin Salman in exchange for a small investment in a promising Kushner Co. property right at the center of New York City’s luxurious Fifth Avenue. 

The sheer number of bad decisions Jared has made is only rivaled by the number of times he’s declared his failures a success. Watching him do this in real time was like watching a football player run in the wrong direction toward his own end zone, cross the goal line, then spike the football and declare himself the winner. Repeatedly. And the coach was unwilling to bench him. 

Thankfully, voters have benched all of them. Aside from asking Jared if he happened to have misplaced the federal vaccine reserve, there’s no need for any of us to interact with or pay attention to them ever again. (I’m leaving Barron and Tiffany out of this analysis because, as a minor, Barron is trapped in this family for the foreseeable future whether he likes it or not; and no oneleast of all her fatherwas paying attention to Tiffany or her four-year plan to bigfoot her dad on his last day in office by announcing her engagement.) 

That doesn’t mean their names won’t appear in headlines, though. Don Jr. and Ivanka narrowly escaped an indictment on criminal fraud charges before their father was elected president, and it seems implausible than any of the many ongoing investigations into Donald Trump’s business affairs do not include scrutiny of them, as well. Eric Trump has already been deposed by the New York Attorney General’s Office. And the Senate Committee on Finance has been trying to determine whether Jared’s dealings with the Qataris, potentially in exchange for helping to bail out Kushner Co.’s 666 Fifth Avenue property, violate criminal conflict of interest statutes. 

Psychologists suggest that couples can improve their relationships by bonding over novel experiences. If that’s true, it bodes well for relationships between the Trump progeny as they encounter something new and uncharted for them: accountability. 

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News of the World, Sound of Metal Lead Movie Sound Editors Nominations

“News of the World” and “Sound of Metal” led all films in nominations for the Motion Picture Sound Editors’ Golden Reel Awards, the MPSE announced on Monday. The two films each received three nominations in the seven Golden Reel film categories, including in the Feature Effects/Foley category, the MPSE category that most closely corresponded to…

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News of the World, Sound of Metal Lead Movie Sound Editors Nominations

News of the World and Noise of Metal led all movies in nominations for the Movie Noise Editors Golden Reel Awards, the MPSE announced on Monday. The 2 films each received three nominations in the 7 Golden Reel film classifications, consisting of in the Feature Effects/Foley classification, the MPSE category that most carefully corresponded to the Oscars Best Noise Modifying category.

( This year, the Academy has actually merged what were two sound classifications, Finest Sound Editing and Best Sound Mixing, into a single Best Sound classification.)

Other nominees in the effect/foley category were Cherry, Greyhound, The Midnight Sky, Tenet and Wonder Lady84 Movies with two nominations consist of The Trial of the Chicago 7, Ma Rainey s Black Bottom, The Midnight Sky, Tenet, Marvel Lady 84 and Greyhound.


Also Read:

Why ‘Mank’ Noise Designer Reserved an Empty Cinema to Make the Movie ‘Sound Old’ (Special Video)


In the television classifications, Snowpiercer, Better Call Saul, Ozark and The Queen s Gambit led all programs with three elections each, while The Umbrella Academy, Locke & Key, The Mandalorian, Marvel s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., The Right Things, Raised by Wolves, Star Trek: Picard and Westworld each got two.

The complete list of the individual candidates in each classification can be discovered at the MPSE site.

The winners will be announced on Sunday, April 16 in a virtual event. Director George Miller will get the MPSE Filmmaker Award at that ceremony.


Likewise Read:

Riz Ahmed’s ‘Noise of Metal’: How the Deep Space Silence of ‘Gravity’ Shaped Hearing Loss Drama


The nominees:

Outstanding Accomplishment in Noise Editing Feature Animation
The Croods: A New Age
Onward
Over the Moon
Soul
Wolfwalkers

Impressive Accomplishment in Noise Editing Feature Documentary
Bee Gees: How Can You Heal a Broken Heart
Crip Camp
John Lewis: Good Problem
My Octopus Teacher
The Factor I Jump
Rebuilding Paradise
The Social Issue
Zappa

Outstanding Accomplishment in Sound Editing Foreign Language Feature
Bacurau
The 8 Hundred
I m No Longer Here
Jallikattu
The Life Ahead

Outstanding Achievement in Noise Modifying Function Underscore
The Undetectable Man
The Midnight Sky
News of the World
Sound of Metal
Tenet
The Trial of the Chicago 7
Wonder Lady 84

Impressive Achievement in Noise Modifying Function Musical
Eurovision Tune Contest: The Story of Fire Saga
The High Note
I Am Woman
The Forty-Year-Old Variation
Ma Rainey s Black Bottom
The Senior Prom

Impressive Achievement in Sound Editing Function Discussion/ ADR
Emperor
Greyhound
Ma Rainey s Black Bottom
Mank
News of the World
Nomadland
Sound of Metal
The Trial of the Chicago 7

Impressive Accomplishment in Noise Editing Function Impacts/ Foley
Cherry
Greyhound
The Midnight Sky
News of the World
Sound of Metal
Tenet
Wonder Woman 84

Impressive Accomplishment in Noise Editing Live Action Under 35: 00
Brooklyn 99: Lights Out
Dead To Me: If You Just Knew
Homecoming: Giant
I Might Ruin You: Eyes Eyes
A Parks and Recreation Special
Servant: 2: 00
Area Force: The Introduce
Ted Lasso: The Hope That Kills You

Exceptional Achievement in Noise Editing Episodic Short Form Music
The Alienist: Stubborn Belly of the Beast
Hollywood: Hooray for Hollywood
Selena: The Series
Snowpiercer: Trouble Comes Sideways
The Umbrella Academy: Valhalla
Vikings: The Very Best Laid Plans
Zoey s Amazing Playlist: Pilot

Exceptional Achievement in Noise Editing Episodic Short Form Dialogue/ADR
Babylon Berlin Season 3 Episode 12
The Flight Attendant: Other individuals s Homes
Locke & Secret: Crown of Shadows
The Mandalorian S2: Chapter 13: The Jedi
Marvel s Representatives of S.H.I.E.L.D.: What We re Fighting For
The Right Stuff: Flight
Snowpiercer: Difficulty Comes Sideways
The Umbrella Academy: Completion of Something

Outstanding Achievement in Sound Editing Episodic Short Type Effects/ Foley
The 100: The Last War
Hanna: The Trial
Locke & Secret: Head Games
The Mandalorian: S2: Chapter 13: The Jedi
Marvel s Representatives of S.H.I.E.L.D.: What We re Combating For
The Right Stuff: Flight
Snowpiercer: Difficulty Comes Sideways

Exceptional Accomplishment in Noise Modifying Episodic Long Kind Music/ Musical
Better Call Saul: Magic Male
The Boys: Absolutely nothing Like It in The World
Bridgerton: Shock and Pleasure
Ozark: Kevin Cronin Was Here
The Queen s Gambit: Adjournment
Raised By Wolves: Pilot

Impressive Accomplishment in Noise Editing Episodic Long Kind Dialogue/ADR
Much Better Call Saul: Something Unforgivable
Dark: Life And Death
Fargo: The Pretend War
Ozark: All In
Star Trek: Picard: The Impossible Box
The Crown: Fairy Tale
The Queen s Gambit: End Video Game
Westworld: The Mother of Exiles

Outstanding Achievement in Noise Modifying Episodic Long Kind Results/ Foley
Much Better Call Saul: Bagman
Devs: Episode 3
Ozark: All In
The Queen s Gambit: End Video Game
Raised By Wolves: Episode 1
Star Trek: Discovery: That Hope is You, Part 1
Star Trek: Picard: Et in Arcadia Ego, Part 2
Westworld: The Mother of Exiles

Outstanding Achievement in Noise Modifying Single Discussion
A Christmas Carol
The Comey Guideline: Episode 2
Hamilton
Into the Dark: The Existing Occupant
Self Made: Motivated by the Life of Madam C.J. Walker: The Fight of the Century
Unorthodox: Part 1

Exceptional Accomplishment in Noise Editing Non-Theatrical Animation Long Form
Batman: Death in The Household
The Boss Infant: Back in Company: Get That Infant
DuckTales: Let s Get Dangerous!
The Epic Tales of Captain Underpants: The Xtreme Xploits of the Xplosive Xmas
The Loud House: Schooled
Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpion s Revenge
To Your Last Death

Impressive Accomplishment in Noise Editing Non-Theatrical Documentary
Be Water
Beastie Boys Story
Bruce Springsteen s Letter to You
High Rating Ep.1 Boom & Bust
Jeffrey Epstein: Rich: The Island
The Last Dance Ep.1
Laurel Canyon: A Place in Time: Episode 1

Outstanding Achievement in Sound Editing Non-Theatrical Feature
Bad Education
Bliss
Blow the Male Down
The Bygone
Christmas On the Square
Security
Troop Zero
The Ultimate Playlist of Sound

Exceptional Achievement in Sound Modifying Computer System Cinematic
Fate 2: Beyond Light
Ghost of Tsushima
The Last of Us Part II
Ori and the Will of the Wisps: Willow Event
Spider-Man: Marvel s Miles Morales
Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order

Impressive Achievement in Sound Modifying Computer System Interactive Game Play
Ghost of Tsushima
The Last of United States Part II
Spider-Man: Marvel s Miles Morales
Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order

Outstanding Achievement in Sound Editing Animation Short Kind
Archer: Cold Combination
Baba Yaga
The One In Charge Baby: Back in Organization: Escape From Krinkles
Canvas
Clone Wars: The Phantom Apprentice
Star Trek: Short Trek: Ephraim and Dot
Wizards: Mesmerized

Impressive Accomplishment in Sound Editing Student Film (Verna Fields Award)
Kadalin Kural, Annapurna College of Movie and Media
Lakutshon Ilanga (When the Sun Sets), Dodge College of Film and Media Arts
Las Escondidas, Chapman University
Listen to United States, SCAD
Meow or Never ever!, The National Movie and Television School
O Black Hole!, The National Film and Tv School
Phantom Spectre, USC School of Cinematic Arts
The Unknown, The National Film and Television School

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Our favorite electrical standing desk is down to $235 at Amazon

If you purchase an independently reviewed product or service through a link on our website, we may receive an affiliate commission. Electric standing desks can be quite expensive, but they’re often worth the price now that so many people are working from home during the pandemic. The good news is that Amazon has a pair…

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Our favorite electrical standing desk is down to $235 at Amazon

If you buy a separately examined service or product through a link on.
our site, we may receive an affiliate commission.

  • Electric standing desks can be rather expensive, however they’re often worth the price now that many individuals are working from house throughout the pandemic.
  • The good news is that Amazon has a set of great deals right now on popular Flexispot Electric Standing Desks, with rates beginning at just $23499
  • Flexispot’s updated EG1 Electric Standing Desk is just $25 more, making it a no-brainer if you want the added benefit of one-touch height modifications.

So many offices around the nation are still closed due to the coronavirus pandemic, which implies lots of people are working from home today who are used to operating in an office setting. A fascinating negative effects is that companies are finding out the simple fact that just as much work gets done when people operate remotely as when they’re entirely in an office. Now that companies are seeing just how much cash they can conserve, the pattern of working from house is only going to get increasingly more popular.

Regardless of whether you’re amongst the people who simply began working from home or you’ve been at it for years, you must certainly think about getting yourself a standing desk so you’re not sitting the entire time. The issue, of course, is that choosing a standing desk can be so much more tough than it appears.
List Cost: $1600(12%)Amazon Prime logo Offered from Amazon, BGR might get a commission Buy Now Readily Available from Amazon BGR may get a commission

The most inexpensive choices out there are typically tabletop desk risers and manual standing desks, however running them can be a pain. There are standing desks with electric motors that make changes a breeze, but they can cost a lot of money.

That is, unless you get one now throughout Amazon’s excellent Flexispot sale.

Flexispot’s EG1 Electric Standing Desk is a premier model that’s streamlined and trendy. It has a smooth electric motor and the capability to keep three various heights in its memory. If you desire to invest even less money, the Flexispot EC1B Electric Standing Desk in black that was a best-seller this previous Black Friday is now on sale for just $234

You almost certainly won’t discover any other electric standing desks this great for anywhere near these costs, so do yourself a favor and participate the action while you still can.

Flexispot Electric Stand Up Desk Workstation with 48 x 30 Inches Whole-Piece Desktop Ergonomic … List Price: $29900(13%)Amazon Prime logo Readily Available from Amazon, BGR may receive a commission Buy Now
Flexispot Standing Desk 48 x 30 Inches Height Adjustable Desk Electric Sit Stand Desk Home Offi … List Cost: $24900(6%)Amazon Prime logo Readily Available from Amazon, BGR may get a commission Buy Now

Here’s what you require to know from Amazon’s item page:

  • SPACIOUS WORKSPACE: The big work surface area measuring 48″ x 30″ is ecologically sourced and provides sufficient area for a range of screen or laptop setups, plus space for ongoing projects and office supplies.Please allow small 0-1 inch difference due to manual measurement.
  • ELECTRIC HEIGHT ADJUSTABLE LIFT SYSTEM: The motor lift system offers smoother height adjustments, from 28 ″ to 47.6 ″ (without 1 ″ thickness of tabletop consisted of), at a speed of 1 ″/ second with low noise( under 50 dB) while running.
  • STRONG BUILDING AND CONSTRUCTION: An industrial-grade steel frame integrated with a solid desktop allows for a 154 pounds. weight capacity to support your ideal work space setup.
  • LED MEMORY CONTROL PANEL: A 7-button controller with 3 programmable memory presets lets you set 3 wanted desk heights for convenient switching from sitting to standing throughout the day.
  • PLEASE NOTE: The product will be shipped in 2 separate bundles which may be delivered separately from each other. Some actions may require a drill, which is not included.

Flexispot Electric Stand Desk Workstation with 48 x 30 Inches Whole-Piece Desktop Ergonomic … List Price: $29999 Price: $25999 You Conserve: $4000(13%)Amazon Prime logo Readily Available from Amazon, BGR might get a commission Buy Now

Flexispot Standing Desk 48 x 30 Inches Height Adjustable Desk Electric Sit Stand Desk House Offi … List Price: $24999 Rate: $23499 You Conserve: $1500(6%)Amazon Prime logo Available from Amazon, BGR might get a commission Buy Now


Follow @BGRDeals on Twitter to stay up to date with the latest and greatest deals we discover around the web. Rates subject to alter without notification and any discount coupons mentioned above may be available in restricted supply.

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Feature: Forget Conserving Hyrule, Zelda: Ocarina of Time Is All About Fishing For Me

To celebrate the 35th anniversary of The Legend of Zelda, we’re running a series of features looking at a specific aspect — a theme, character, mechanic, location, memory or something else entirely — from each of the mainline Zelda games. Today, Kerry admits that she didn’t always stick to the proposed path when playing one…

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Feature: Forget Conserving Hyrule, Zelda: Ocarina of Time Is All About Fishing For Me
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To celebrate the 35 th anniversary of The Legend of Zelda, we’re running a series of features looking at a particular aspect– a style, character, mechanic, area, memory or something else entirely– from each of the mainline Zelda video games. Today, Kerry admits that she didn’t always adhere to the proposed path when playing one of Link’s most famous adventures …


Did the Hero of Time triumph against his horrible foe, approving Hyrule a duration of peace and prosperity? Or … did the Hero of Time make a beeline for the fishing pond by Lake Hylia and hope the whole Ganondorf/time travel/world-saving organization was going to arrange itself out while he was preoccupied with pole-caught piscines?

That less-than-heroic third scenario’s how Zelda: Ocarina of Time always ends up playing out for me. One little building stuck in the corner of what (at the time of release) seemed like the biggest stretch of water video gaming would ever see somehow slowly transforming from a location where I went to when I desired a quiet break from Link’s legendary N64 adventure into the one location I really wanted to be whenever I turned the game on– and, at the height of my fascination, even when I switched on almost any other game too.

” Yeah this is great, but it’s not fishing, is it?” I ‘d say to myself as I browsed F-Zero X‘s twists and turns or gracefully cannon ‘d myself through the air in Pilotwings 64, indifferent towards the gaming riches that lay prior to me. It took me a long period of time prior to understood why I kept coming back to this “pointless” sideshow in a title bursting at the joints with more productive pursuits: in any kind and on any format, video gaming is constantly requiring more. I have actually got to be faster, tougher, much better, than I was last time. I’ve got to hunt down much more of whatever semi-hidden shiny thing I already gathered previously. I have actually got to complete the video game. I’ve got to 100% complete the game. I’ve got to move on and buy the sequel and do it all over once again.

The fishing pond isn’t like that. The fishing pond is a sanctuary of untouchable and unvarying calm, an opportunity to loosen up and to connect with a minimum of one walled-off part of one game completely on my own terms and at my own rate– and all of it starts with a simple wooden door stuck on one wall of a simple square structure.

Unlike Lon Ranch’s leap-able fencing to the grassy lands beyond, Kakariko’s open-village cucco-bothering, or numerous other picturesque backyard in Hyrule, there is only one way in or out of this secluded fishing pond, simply one NPC to engage with, and just the slightest tip of the world outside glancing through the trees that line the edge of this little location.

It’s a place without external diversions, and that implies it’s a place that allows you to focus on every stunning information present: the gentle sound of running water from the little stream feeding the pond, the bend of the rod, the lily pads floating aside as you learn them, the lure darting through the water to the movements of the analogue stick, and the sluggish death of time, brilliant blue days merging dusky orange nights to moonlit nights and back again.

It’s a location without external diversions, and that implies it’s a place that allows you to focus on every beautiful information present

For an area with very little going on (in the traditionally game-y sense, at least) it’s a highly tactile environment, a location that will constantly respond to whatever I wish to do but never need an out-and-in-again reset no matter what I attack-roll Link at or how many hours I sprinkle about. Nothing occurs here unless I desire it to, and absolutely nothing can ever wander too close and disrupt this tranquil swimming pool– there actually is nothing to do here aside from attempt and capture some fish.

I do not even need to be any good at it; whether I’m landing every fish that dares to come within 10 ft of the end of my lure or if I’m having an off day so bad I ‘d have much better luck diving in and trying to catch them with Link’s bare hands. Due to the fact that here, I’m not in a competition versus anyone besides myself. I can enter this location with the burning desire to invest a whole afternoon trying to capture a legendary lunker, or I can be here just to enjoy the screen go wibbly as I stand in the middle of the lake wearing a set of iron boots (blue tunic on, obviously) looking ludicrous as Link sticks his face underwater to try and get an excellent take a look at the fish, the pond owner no doubt questioning what the heck I’m doing and asking himself if 20 rupees for an unlimited fishing session was truly the very best business design he might create.

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But how could anyone resist gawping at those fish? They’re so happily plump with smooth underbellies and shining scales on top, all wearing an inscrutable expression hovering someplace between euphoric ignorance and utter shock. They’ll dart away when I get too close, attempt their finest to disregard me at the inmost part of the pond, and kick (or more precisely, flipping) up the earth as they resist the fishing line.

They do not, officially speaking, have private (or cumulative) personalities– however it’s tough not to declare one my own individual bane when a possible prize catch feigns interest until they’re practically touching Link’s sodden boots … prior to swimming away to the other side of the pond. And after that there’s the enigmatic Hylian Loach, the strange elongated silhouette who’s certainly always sometimes there, however never rather interested enough in the lure to bite … whatever takes place, all is forgiven when a big wheel lastly is available in, in some cases so huge even adult Link fights with their size, that reward catch of the day entering the tank on the counter as proof of my own little triumph; a customised keepsake of an enjoyable time that’ll still exist next time I return.

There are so very many great factors to keep returning to Ocarina of Time; the innovative dungeons, seeing Hyrule fleshed out in full-3D for the first time, the innovative usage of time travel, Epona, playing your own melodies on the ocarina, therefore much more– but for me nothing beats this tiny location that, in the grand scheme of things, goes no place and not does anything. I might not know how many fish I’ve captured or how big the most significant one of them was, but I do know whenever I open that wood door and pay my 20 rupees I’m precisely where I want to be.

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